They say confession is good for the soul, so today is my confession day. On Thursday night I was supposed to have a sleep study done. I showed up at the sleep lab and they got me ready. I must have had 30 wires coming off of different parts of my body. I could not find a way to get comfortable and, and I really tried.
I am one of those people that need to sleep on their stomach, the head at a particular level and my legs just go where ever they want. I was in the bed for half an hour. I kept getting tangled up in the wires and the more I struggled the more anxious I got. I terminated the study and wen home. On the way home I stopped at the local Wawa and bought two snack sized coffee cakes and a chocolate milk. It was nothing more than comfort food as having screwed up the sleep study, I felt bad about myself and was determined to do what I wanted.
That was the first time I had a cake in 40 days. Do I feel a bit embarrassed by what happened? Yes, but it’s not the end of the world. Yesterday, Friday, I got right back on track. The refrain of an old song hold true, “Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.
I learned recently, that “failure is not a person, it is an event.” I have looked back on my life and categorized myself as a failure. I have had a lot of failures, more than I have had Birthdays, but that does not make ME a failure. It makes me human, I am in school right now getting my psychology degree, I have almost a complete B average. I received one “D” in a class on research, as I got sick when the final paper was due. But other than that is is all As and Bs. I am not a failure. I have had them but I am not them.
How do you view your self? Who do you see when you look in the mirror? What do you tell that face? If it’s negative, start being more kind to yourself. People will always tell you what you do wrong and most of the time it’s rare when we make a mistake and don’t know we did it. Accept what you have done wrong, correct what you can and move on. Realize that you were made by God, “and God don’t make no junk.”