(PCM) With Valentine’s Day right around the corner our thoughts are beginning to focus on all things love and romance. Many people have their own thought and opinions about the meaning of love and what it takes to fall in love, so do we really think that a set of 36 questions could be the key to finding that true and everlasting love to last a lifetime.
One psychologist in New York, named Arthur Aron, certainly does and back in 1997 he created a psychological experiment using a set of 36 questions that he claimed played a key role in having the ability to make two people fall deeply in love.
The questions start out very relaxed and informal and then progressively become more and more intimate forcing the pair to truly and deeply get a sense of knowing one another.
In the study, Aron paired up some strangers, a heterosexual man and and heterosexual woman, and gave them 45 minutes in the lab together to answer the set of 36 questions. After completing the questionnaire, they then had to stare into each others eyes for four minutes in total silence.
The results were astounding and by the end of the experiment, the two strangers who never knew one another before, had fallen head over heels in love with one another and within six months they were married.
Twenty years later a New York Times columnist took the questionnaire with a complete stranger as well and it just so happens that the two of them are now involved in a long-standing romantic relationship as well.
Below we have shared the original 36 questions that are guaranteed to make anyone fall in love with you. They are broken down in to three sets with each getting a bit more intimate than the prior set.
Definitely a fun Valentine’s activity to try with your partner or if you are single it could make an interesting first date game. Either way, let us know if you give it a try and we certainly want to hear about your results either way!
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a ‘perfect’ day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true ‘we’ statements each. For instance, ‘We are both in this room feeling … ‘
26. Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could share … ‘
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.