Friends are with you FRom the begInning to the END. Girlfriends, especially, have a bond with each other that brightens the day and makes them feel whole. Girls are there for each other to share in funny inside jokes, listen when their friends need an ear, help with fashion advice, keep each other up-to-date in pop culture news, enjoy a good margarita together at happy hour; and the list goes on.
The one thing that comes with all of the positives is, of course, the “minor negative.” Although girls are wonderfully compassionate companions – they also like to talk. Not only do we like to talk about things we see on Pinterest, the latest iPhone App, or our weekend party plans; but we also discuss each other’s love lives.
I realized in my recent happy hours and couch dates with friends that we enjoy giving feedback (solicited or not) to friends about whom they choose to date or not date. And it’s not just my friends that do this; I have met many different friend groups who also talk the talk about who’s dating or hooking up with whom.
When you really think about it, it seems a strange concept that one person can have a strong opinion about someone else’s datee. Let’s say that Jill is hooking up with Jeff, but Jill’s best friend Nancy isn’t happy with this, claiming Jeff is impolite and unreliable with texting. Nancy will constantly tell Jill that she should break up with him because he just isn’t right for her.
I understand that it is human nature to have an opinion on absolutely everything we encounter; and maybe that’s because we live in a world where everything is transparent and open to comment thanks to Facebook, texting, blogging, etc. This seems fine too especially when it involves traffic reports, weather, or even Lindsay Lohans’ tenth jail sentence; but when it comes to a love that should be private between two people, I think the couple involved should make their own decisions.
Nancy isn’t the one receiving text messages from Jeff, or the one who has to hook up with him. If Jill is choosing to be in that position, the only thing Nancy could really do is give an initial, “I don’t think he is good for you, but I will let you see this thing through and be here for you if it doesn’t work out.” Jill isn’t going to stop dating Jeff, just because Nancy said so; and if Nancy keeps saying something EVERYTIME Jill tries to vent to her, it creates tension. Jill won’t feel comfortable divulging things to Nancy if all she does is shoot her down and give her negative critiques, ultimately making Jill feel guilty.
If that person is choosing to be in that position, then she has to see it through. If you really think that the two people aren’t going to work out, then that is probably how it will end, but at least you can be that shoulder to lean on through the whole experience. At the end of the day we girls are vocal about everything, and we are just trying to be good friends; but the person in the relationship has to go with her instincts. It doesn’t mean friends don’t respect their friends’ opinions, but if they want to hook up with a “Jeff,” they will hook up with a “Jeff.”
