By Jocelyn Jane Cox
The days are getting shorter, leaves are starting to fall, and before we know it Halloween will be upon us. Whether we like it or not, it’s time to say farewell to all those colorful pots filled with formerly fabulous annuals (come on, they’re looking pretty sorry now) and pull out our fall decorations from the basement or attic. But as with all seasonal decorating, I think it’s important to pause before you do so and ask the question: What do my fall decorations really say about me? After all, like a flag or a political sign, whatever you place on your lawn or your front porch definitely gives an impression.
For example, though we don’t have one yet, one of my all-time favorite fall decorations is that “witch who ran into the tree.” I’m sure you’ve seen her – she comes complete with striped socks and a broom. Attaching this whimsical decoration to one of the trees on your property not only indicates that you have a sense of humor, it might reveals your inner klutz. Maybe you can relate to her haphazard flying skills and you secretly wish people would be a little more forgiving when you accidentally bump into their shopping carts in the supermarket…or their cars in the parking lot.
The message behind some of the most common decorations is obvious. If you put out a cardboard black cat, you’re admitting that you’re not superstitious and that you also adore cats, even if everyone else in your family is allergic. Scarecrows signify a yearning for simpler times, when more people really did wear overalls to work, and when crows really were one of the biggest threats to crops.
I used to think that putting out fake pumpkins or jack-o-lanterns was a tacky cop-out but I have had a change of heart. I’ve realized that while I happen to love a good pumpkin soup and some toasted pumpkin seeds, not everyone wants to get so up-close and personal with pumpkin goop. And that really is everyone’s right. But here’s the other thing: I think people who put out those rubbery fake pumpkins are actually demonstrating a great deal of respect for their neighbors. Because when marauding teens inevitably come around to squash the squash, these will not create a splattering, rotting mess! In fact, once the teens realize that they bounce, they may actually abandon their mischievous ways and re-channel their energies into a pick-up game of basketball.
Who doesn’t love those cardboard skeletons that fit so perfectly on the front door? If you get a good version, many of his joints are mobile, so you can place his arms and legs akimbo in a good dancing position. What you’re telling the world with this one, though, is surprisingly complicated: 1) You are not afraid of death. 2) You are fascinated by human anatomy, and, 3) You’re upset that you put on those extra ten pounds this summer and, though you have no interest in being quite this skinny, you’re on the market for any daily inspiration you can get.
I think the least convincing fall decoration of all time is the fake cobwebs. The message here is obvious: you are able to fool yourself easily. Let’s face it, that stringy, cottony substance draped in clumps across your hedges looks about as much like cobwebs as that carrot cake you ate for dinner last night looks like carrots. (By the way, see number 3, above.)
And finally, one of the most difficult decorations to interpret is the black caldron filled with dry ice. This might say that you are very in touch with your inner-child and love Halloween more than any other holiday. OR it serves as a “gone fishing” type sign, except instead of fishing, you’ve gone out to obtain three frog eyeballs, two hairs from a troll’s beard, and some gravestone shavings for your deadly brew.
Hey, we’re not making any assumptions here, but this fall, you might just want pay a little more attention to the message you’re sending to the neighborhood.
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Cox just recently published her first book – The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness: How to handle natural disasters, design dilemmas and various infestations like a champ which in the first day rose to #1 ranking inhome/garden/entertainment/humor/and general categories.
Photo courtesy Life123.com
