(PCM) Whether you want to admit or not, staying friends with an ex on Facebook (or making your friends follow him) is a bad, bad idea, and now there’s research to prove it.
According to a new study in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, staying friends with an ex on Facebook can not only prolong recovery, but it can also stunt your personal growth. Researchers asked 464 people about past distressing breakups, including how much time had passed since the split, which partner initiated it, and how much contact they’ve had with their ex since calling it quits.
While researchers discovered that remaining friends on Facebook actually resulted in less desire, attraction, and longing for the ex (that is, if you don’t stalk their page, or they happen to post a lot of lame updates and unattractive photos), those who consistently kept tabs on their ex’s page were more likely to be hung-up on the breakup, and feel more distressed and lonely…and let’s face it, if you’re fresh out of a relationship you’re definitely doing some stalking.
“Previous research has found continuing offline contact with an ex-romantic partner following a breakup may disrupt emotional recovery,” said Dr Marshall, of Brunel Universoity, Uxbridge. “Analysis of the data provided by 464 participants revealed that Facebook surveillance was associated with greater current distress over the breakup, more negative feelings, sexual desire, and longing for the ex-partner, and lower personal growth. Overall, these findings suggest that exposure to an ex-partner through Facebook may obstruct the process of healing and moving on from a past relationship.”
In other words: If you can’t stop looking at their photos, checking out who writes on their wall, or worse, new “friends”, it’s time to unfriend ASAP.
