That’s Wifey Material Right There

Tips on how to pick-up a woman, boys… Number 1) Don’t send your wingman over to “plant the seed.” Unless the interested mate you point us to is Jim Carrey in an orange suit, then don’t bother. Number 2) Don’t bring up your ex. If you do so during the first bar conversation, then she will obviously be a VIP in upcoming date discussions. Number 3) Refrain from wedding talk, at all costs.

During my previous single adventures in the meat market, I came across one eery trend. Whether I was talking to someone I knew or someone I met at the jersey shore, the topic of marriage was actually used as a pick-up line.

Okay, at first I was deceived by the marital charm sprinkled into random sentences. The first time I got hit by the “wifey” comment, I was shocked. As an old-fashioned, naive girl, I couldn’t help but be entranced by the bold move.

I will call him Ted. Ted used the marriage technique – A LOT. Especially since I was 22 when we started dating and he was 26, I thought his priorities were in a different place. (So, if a 20-year-old were to use that pick-up line, I’d laugh in his face and think it was “cute.”) But, since Ted was appearing as more “mature” and older, I felt he really meant that I was “wifey” material, and he was actually going to “sweep me off my feet and marry me.”

He even went as far as to say, “When my friends asked me if you were my girlfriend, I told them that you are not my girlfriend, just the girl I am going to marry.” Wow! How I did not see the big red flag, hear the loud buzzer go off, or realize the fasten your seatbelt light was turned on… is beyond me. Let me add that I knew of this guy for a year, and we only dated for about two months. He ended up “not liking me that much.”

After him another one of my friends I knew since I was in middle school started to pursue me. In front of his friends after laughing at one of my jokes, he said, “Seriously, I want to run to Tiffany’s right now and get the ring.” I am not even 30 yet and I already had two marriage proposals.

I got my third from the gas attendant later that week, and another one somewhere else down the road. I stopped keeping track, because it became old news.

The rate of frequency for a phrase like to surface will occur most at the jersey shore. I think the crew that flocks down there from all over thinks it is some kind of compliment.

More so, I think guys have realized how important marriage is to a girl, that basic flirting is just not enough anymore. So, why not hit the soft spot all girls have? Only one of the most important days of our lives next to The Real Housewives of New Jersey season premieres and outlet shopping trips.

It is probably their attempt to be the most aggressive Alpha Male in the group. They have to resort to drastic measures. He (meaning all cocky, creepy males that do this) probably pride themselves off of how “romantic” they are being.

In summation, the next time I hear a guy tell me that I am “wifey” material, I am not sure what I will do first: regurgitate, laugh, mock them, or walk away. A nice “Well, thank God I’ll never have to be YOUR wife,” would suffice, but might be too dramatic, yet well said. Besides, these guys have a big enough problem picking up girls, and I don’t want to give them anymore conflicts to deal with in their lives.

My boyfriend now has never had to fake a future with me to get what he wants in the present. He presently has just been the most amazing person I know, and that in itself will open up a future all on its own. No cheesy pickup lines required! Now THAT right there is HUBBY material… 😉

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